Many of us wives forget this foundational principle found back in Genesis 2:18 which tells us that we were created to be a helper. Not just a helper in the general sense, but a helpmeet or helper sepecifically for our own husband. Why? Because it is not good for man to be alone.
Be a helper not a hinderance
Sadly today, many Godly men argue that in these times it is indeed better to be alone rather than indure the heartache of a rebellious and spiteful woman. How this grieves God’s heart! For God knew that man needed someone to complement him but not compete with. Someone to support him in every way and help him on the path that God has set before him. Unfortunately many of us try to be his holy spirit, nagging and correcting along the way. Instead of being his help, we become a hinderance. One of my prayers for my husband has been that my husband would grow closer to the Lord and that I would get out of the way! For I understand that if I push MY convictions and MY ways, then I am indeed becoming a hinderance to my husband and his walk. In fact I am trying to play God in my husband’s life and that of course that is a major sin.
What is a helper?
In Elizabeth George’s book, Woman after God’s Own Heart, she writes that a helper is one that shares man’s responsibilities, responds to his nature with understanding and love, and wholheartedly cooperates with him in working out the plan of God.
What can a wife do so that God can grow in her a heart committed to helping her husband? Consider these suggestions.
Make a commitment to help your husband- Will you or won’t you become a helper? Will you or won’t you follow God’s plan to help your husband? Will you or won’t you make your husband your career? The decision is yours…And when you decide, you might want to write your own prayer of commitment to God.
Surrender daily
The best way for me to remember my duty, is to surrender to the Lord every morning and commit my will to him and remind myself that I am my husband’s helper. It isn’t about my agenda. You may have heard this as to ‘die to self daily’. I know that this is vital for me to have my heart in the right place otherwise I start going off on my own course, becoming independent of my husband and the Lord’s plan.
It may sound like I don’t have much freedom but I actually do. It’s just that I have freedom within the boundaries of my role as a helpmeet, which I am more than happy with. There are many decisions and considerations to be made in my daily duties and that is enough for me. Having a career and outside activities brought stress and tension. Oh how I wish that women could know that they don’t need to strive and compete but rest in the role that God has prescribed from the beginning. When you accept the postition and calling in which God has given, you will find rest for your soul. You will be walking in obedience to the Word and that will produce good fruit in your life, love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.
I pray that the women of God would come back to their true calling…
He who finds a wife finds a good thing,
And obtains favor from the Lord. Proverbs 18:22
Yes, we have freedom within our role and can develop the fruits of the Spirit within that role, allowing others to enjoy that fruit, being around us. I would like to write out a prayer of commitment soon. Thanks, Megan, for this entry! Praise the Lord.