It is a privilege & an honour to serve those in need

Dear Ladies, I know it’s been a long time since writing on here. Thank you to those who still read this blog and I hope it is a blessing to you.

Today I write from a more personal note, wanting to share my thoughts after caring for my Mother who had stage 4 lung cancer. This is not a detailed account of her journey with cancer but more a lesson and my thoughts following her passing.

As the title states, ‘it is a privilege and an honour to serve those in need’. That was something that really impressed upon me when we brought my Mother back with us from Sydney to Tasmania in March of this year (2024). At the time we did not have a confirmed diagnosis but we knew that Mum was in a very bad way and needed to be cared for. The Lord had truly answered my prayer, for I had agonised over the inability to be there with her and feeling so far away to not be able to meet her needs. Now she was willing to come and stay with us. My husband was the one to initiate the need for her to be here rather than for us to be visiting back and forth. He has been an amazing and honourable man during this time!

From Sydney to Tasmania

It was no easy task to bring my Mother back on the flight as she was unable to even sit up for more than half an hour. She had also lost so much weight and everything made her feel weak and fatigued. She was in a lot of pain due to another condition she had acquired after a hand fracture. It was an auto-immune disease called CRPS. Little did we know that she had stage 4 lung cancer which had travelled to the bones. We did know that the Hospital had found a lung mass but it had not yet been confirmed to be cancerous or if so, what stage it was.

So we brought her here with some hope that she would be able to recover with care and further investigation. I felt the huge responsibility of caring for a loved one in such a vulnerable condition and I knew that it was also a blessing and a privilege as not everyone gets to care for a parent at the end of their life. People encouraged us saying it was a very honourable thing to do. For us it was not a question as we wanted to do this. I felt elated when Mum made it to Tasmania and to see her joy that she made the trip and was surrounded by her grand-daughters who loved/love her dearly.

I’d love to say that I finished with the same enthusiasm that I began but the journey had many highs and lows, twists and turns. My love and devotion for my Mother never waned. But my attitude fluctuated somewhat with my own weariness and strain as the disease progressed. Being a full-time carer does take it’s toll and I could tell (so could my husband) when I was doing things in my own strength and not depending upon the Lord.

Not depending upon the Lord

Instead of greeting my Mother in the early hours of the morning (or during the night) with a warm smile like I had in the earlier days, I was often grumpy or frustrated. My mother wouldn’t allow us to help her when she needed it and sometimes resentment grew on my part. Being a constant emotional and physical support was taxing and I still needed to keep the home running.

I pushed through doing what needed to be done but not always with a meek & quiet spirit. Family came to visit from overseas and I felt stretched beyond my limit and wanted ‘me time’. I could go on and on but you get the picture. I struggled. On the outside, people thought I was doing great and praised me often. God knew what was going on within my heart. The truth is, serving is not always easy yet it is rewarding.

The truth is, serving is not always easy yet it is rewarding.

How does it apply to you?

Maybe you are reading this and thinking that since you don’t care for a terminally ill loved one or an elderly relative that this doesn’t have relevance to your life as a Christian Lady. But I would like you to think about the people who are in your care. The people whom you are called to serve.

-are you married? then you are called to be a helpmeet to your husband.

-are you a Mother? then you know that the Lord has given you a great gift and responsibility.

-are you a carer to a sick, elderly or disabled person?

-has the Lord put someone in your life whom He wants you to disciple?

Seeing our role from a Godly perspective:

How do we see our role in these relationships? Is it a privilege or a problem?

Will we continue to see our role as an opportunity to serve the Lord and to grow spiritually?

Do we see this opportunity as a privilege and honour thinking ‘I get to do this.’

Am I trustworthy? Thankful? Dependable?

Understanding?

Full of peace?

Meek & quiet spirit?

Joyful amidst trials?

humble?

Self-sacrificing?

Willing?

Unselfish?

Content?

Or self-seeking, frustrated, tired?

This is too big for us!

If this sounds like it’s too big of an ask then rest-assured, it is! We can’t do any of this in our own strength. But as we seek the Lord daily and rely upon His strength and righteousness then He will fill us with His spirit and meet all of our own needs. God promises us this!

But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Mathew 6:33.

A word of caution & dealing with regrets

I would also like to add a word of caution, that even if you are wholly submitted to the Lord, you won’t do this perfectly. God’s Grace covers us when we fall short. We are going to have moments of weakness and less than perfect responses or reactions. Let it be a reminder that we need to go back to the throne of Grace and ask for forgiveness and move forward. (Please don’t wallow in self-pity as I tend to do).

How to keep the momentum going?

Whether it’s child-training, home-schooling, obeying our own husband, keeping a meek & quiet spirit, house-keeping and meeting the many daily needs within our home. The question is, ‘how do we keep the momentum going when we have had enough and grow weary?

And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.

Galatians 6:9

I believe the first thing is to submit ourselves unto the Lord and spend time in His Word and in prayer. Without this time with Him we will grow spiritually weak. It was obvious to my husband when I was not spending time with the Lord. I’m sure others noticed too. We need to be spiritually filled before we can fill others so to speak. There are also practical things we can do too and that will look different for all of us. Things like making sure that we are eating well and getting sleep when we can. Doing something relaxing even for a short time. I suggest listening to our husband’s as they offer suggestions as they can usually see things more clearly than we can when we are feeling overwhelmed.

A dear friend of mine who gives and gives of herself gave me this advice: ‘Trust that the Lord will give you the breaks that you need or the sleep that you need in His timing.’ Yes He knows when we have reached capacity and that is often not when we feel it is. It is all about trusting the Lord and keeping a right attitude.

When we see our role as a servant of the Lord, we will see all our duties as a privilege and an honour.

May the Lord bless the work of your hands.

P.s. my Mother was a believer and we were able to be with her for her final breaths. What a blessing from the Lord:)